Slugs or Testacles

Slugs or testacles which would you rather eat? This was discussed at luncheon because a neighbour of ours in London was invited to a wedding in China; having been very kind to a Chinese girl who looked after a friends children. The invite to the wedding was an illustration of Chinese manners, always mindful of repaying a kindness. But this was no ordinary trip and our neighbour was treated like an honoured guest, and saw a china that few Europeans ever see. She went to a lot of banquets and frequently had to eat some of the above. Now that I could not do, not under any circumstances.

I don’t want to go about dropping names, and some people have urged me to tell them who the cough sweet eater was …. I will never ever do that. Not even if I am made to look at myself in the three way mirror at Peter Jones! Actually another thing I want to mention is this matter of punctuation. I am Dyslexic and so I can’t, or more particularity don’t, get my head around punctuation, this you will all have noticed . This was also discussed at lunch by some very amusing people but I won’t mention their names because that would also seem like social scoring, so you can all let your imaginations run riot . Actually I did my Latin quote which I will also do next week and then I did that two others ,but I can’t remember them now but they were definitely impressed, so here are a few semi colons for you fanatics out there just to keep you going;;;;;;; actually I think semicolons sound rather medical and not in a good way, and truth to tell I think split infinitives are very useful tools. I use them a lot. Many writers seem to be Dyslexic, I went to a talk by one last week at a gathering of clever people and she forgot her speech , she adlibbed for fifteen minutes and it was very good indeed. The last time I gave a talk it was to the Isle of Wight Conservatives. I did it because I thought they wanted to hear about my brilliant writing career and would buy some of my books. But all they wanted to talk about was Margaret Thatcher and the Falklands and then you may well ask….. did I sell lots of books? The Sainted One, with infuriating accuracy told me not to take many of them. I shot him down in flames and flew off the handle, and took twenty which were very heavy in a wheelie suitcase but of course…… ?? Well not only did they fail to laugh at any of my best jokes; but I sold one book, I kid you not, ONE, and that was paid for with a torn ten pound note which I was bossily told, I could stick together with cello tape. I passed it on to my psychotherapist, she was very good about it, but then she is very good about everything.

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