Mud and Moats

So we went to France the seat of” gastronomique” excellence! Bad start on Brittany Ferries in the posh restaurant … the choice was beef boiled in chocolate which I observed on a diner’s plate it did look like mud … there was some very nasty looking fish or a luxury club sandwich. I chose the latter .. big mistake to eat there at all actually the contents lurking between slices of soggy toast were repulsive lumps of gurqin! and some white reconstituted meat adhering to something which could have been lettuce, but it was in an advanced state of decomposition. But I did see two delightful bits of beetroot attached to a stick which held it all together only to find they were red plastic beads which surgically removed one of my fillings . Oh and also the olive oil was in a spray which fired with laser accuracy into my eye .

But things got a lot better in this gorgeous house surrounded by a moat and occupied by a clever glamorous couple who are the best hosts imaginable. The food was fit for the Gods and wall to wall laughs and perfection, in fact we made so much noise when we went to lunch in Deauville that we were put in a sound proof area away from other diners. I told some of my jokes and they worked very well …. But come Sunday morning I could not see out of my left eye .. the Sainted One thinks I am a hypochondriac and he is right. So I did not complain much. I saw things through a gauze muddy veil and it felt as if there was a needle in my eye. I thought it was the olive oil.

Tuesday morning I got cab to Moorefield’s eye hospital. Five hours later It was sorted and I have an arsenal of drops and look like a pig. It’s called Uveitis and it wasn’t the olive oil that caused it. Any way I am glad I had just read Virginia Nicolson’s extraordinary and important book Millions Like Us it put me on the war frame of mind and reminded me of all the things which are so incredible about the country we are lucky enough to live in, Moorefield’s being one of them . Tomorrow I will tell you about the war memorial at Caen where so many young men died on a muddy beach something all British children should be taken to see before embarking on secondary education. Before you all start, of course I spelt “Gherkin” wrong.. nobody should even mention them let alone spell them or serve them they are disgusting and remind me of formaldehyde preserved samples at my useless, school most of which were frogs!.

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