Overkill On Sex Scandals.Where does Loo Paper Go? And Panic in The Church Hall.

We have all become addicted to sex scandals, they are everywhere, is the whole male population priapic or what, I mean how do they have time for all this? Perhaps a lot of these are exaggerated. Last year a very nice looking man at a large party suddenly asked me if I would like to go to the lavatory with him. Naturally I declined and am still mystified by the event . I repeated this to a young relative the other day while the Sainted One was reading the paper, she answered at once “ Oh he was making a hit on you.” I felt quite encouraged by this but not for long . The Sainted One lowered the paper, which in itself is a singular event when I am talking, and said in a firm voice “ Not a chance.” I also repeated this whole story yesterday at a raucous girls lunch and my hostess said quick as a flash “ Well as a proposition it stinks.” I wish I had a wit like that I would have been even more of a success.

Anyway back to sex scandals. I trawled The Times for one this morning and the nearest I could get was the story of the poor hapless Vicar who was addressing a meeting in Saint Marks Church Hall Harrogate and whilst showing images in a Power Point presentation , and wait for it , he showed an image of a naked woman, at which there was “panic” in the meeting room. What on earth happened do you think? I mean did they all run amok, did crazed menopausal ladies try to unfrock the vicar in a mad lustful way? Did people have to be rushed out with blankets on their heads? It is claimed that the image was a result of a blip on the internet. I am trying to imagine just how this happened, it must have been one of those explicit nature programmes. I feel sorry for the vicar.

I have some lovely friends at the checkout in Sainsbury’s and they are usually amazed be the amount of Lavatory paper I buy. Where does it all go and why is there never any to be seen in the places where it is needed? And what do they all do when they need it and there is none? One of the occupants of the house mentioned “In passing” yesterday that one of the loos had “not had paper for several days “ , I asked why they had not helped themselves from the store cupboard? There was an expression of bafflement, I suppose it is union rules here I am thinking up a few of my own.

Our politicians it seems as feckless as ever. The latest example is a reluctance to take action about the pesticides which are killing honey bees. The world needs bees and instead of setting up another enquiry, why not ban the darn stuff until further research confirms it as the reason for this disaster. I think Italy may have the right idea, so fed up are they with their politicians that they have all voted for a stand-up comedian. Actually that is exactly what we have already but without the humour.

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