Builders Crack, The Queen does Not Use Eyeliner , and No Honey for Wannabees.

I learned many things this weekend, the most interesting of which was the origin of the fashion for builders crack, which is now so predominant that sometimes one can actually see more than just the aforementioned, which is horrible enough. Apparently prisoners in the United States of America are not issued with belts for obvious reasons. Well actually some not so obvious , many things are possible with a belt. Also when leaving prison after the very long sentences some of them get for things now common place there, such as mass murder of a whole community, they are deliberately issued with very large sized trousers. This “look “ became I am told very much a banner of pride showing that you had lived a very varied and interesting life and had a story to tell . “The look” has caught on of course over the years, and Calvin Klein saw a good opportunity with the “crack,” and started putting a brand name on the elastic of his underpants. There are of course practical advantages to the ” crack ” I remember as part of ongoing magistrates training being shown a video of drug exchanges at Kings Cross involving areas made easily accessible  by the ” crack” and the use of kit kat wrappers for reasons of hygiene no doubt. The whole thing was very upsetting and cured my desire for chocolate bars.  actually I too in my modest way have Bonnie and Clyde moments ;   I was stopped at Heathrow the other day and taken to a search booth which was rather unpleasant. I was relieved that it was my M and S under-wired bra which set the thing off.

I watched a marvellous programme about the Queen on the television last night. She is a fantastic woman and always looks interested in whatever she is being shown, but I did notice she had rather a glassy look when shown a display of bloomers and knickers in a primary school which was called the “Queens Knickers.” This we were told in advance by the, well-meaning teacher was the only idea which was able to spark up enthusiasm from the children., she also explained that they had had to shop around for a very large size…..Her Majesty muttered something about “ washday” and moved on. While we are on the subject of the Queen, I read a very nice piece by a young journalist, about the Queen’s commendable attention to economy, surmising that the contents of her handbag would reveal an eyeliner “sharpened to a stump”, news for you little girl journalist, the Queen does not wear eyeliner ! How do I know this ?… I just do.

Onto wannabees, “The Wannabee Bee” by the way is an enchanting book written and illustrated by one of my six fabulous, clever Granddaughters (well they would be wouldn’t they). Well thanks to all the wannabees in Notting Hill, meaning Dave and his gang who abstained from the vote to ban the insecticide that is killing all the bees, there will soon be no bees and consequently no fruit or anything that needs pollinating. This is a mystery. I wish the Queen ran the country, she would have made short work of that lot. While we are onto the subject of Dave and Nick why can’t they speak properly it’s all “wanna and gonna”  instead of want to and going to, even my spell check wont or will not have it! I suppose it’s all to do with people pleasing but it “ is not “ working Dave, we all know you are posh.

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