So last weekend the Sainted One had obviously taken a vow of silence again. Our house is on the seafront and the promenading public has a clear view of goings on inside. Once I threw a chair across the room, fifteen years ago actually . This drew a more than usually admiring audience. Well last weekend I got rather fed up with the feeling that I was an anonymous food dispenser, so I invited the S O to come to the catering centre and choose his lunch. I decided to do this topless, I offered him the full menu strategically held up for modesty’s sake, starting with two pork pies, he selected one without remark, so I tried two large tomatoes, again no comment , not a flicker I tell you, then I offered two hard boiled eggs. He chose them both. A Large crowd gathered on the sea wall, so at least I had my moment of fame. Enquires revealed beyond doubt that the state of undress had not been noticed by the S O.
This set me in mind of “ dangling modifiers”. I am told by editors that the latter are the scourge of modern manuscripts submitted by illiterate writers, of whom I am one. You see I really love split infinitives and I don’t really rate semi colons. I am definitely guilty of dangling modifiers. I once wrote a piece for The Sunday Telegraph of eight hundred words with no commas. It was one of my best and drew a large fan club. So with all things you can never be sure of what will turn people on.