Four months ago the following people died from taking statins, Grace Lively, Consuela Fernandez, Margaret Lively, Algernon Lively, Sir Hartley Shagwell, Peter Zuleikon, Jane Browning, a little boy called Pepe and many others royalty included, not to mention the entire crew on a naval voyage of great importance. You don’t believe me? Well yes they did and it was statins that killed them. But the good news is that, they have all mysteriously come to life again. You don’t believe me? Oh yes they did, I know because they are my people, and by and large I am in control of them except when they get sassy and get a mind of their own, which is quite often. You see they are all characters in my new book Summer’s Grace. Four months ago along with many millions of the population, I was advised to take statins, the drug now suggested for everyone over fifty to lower your cholesterol. This is supposed to stop you having a stroke or a heart attack. What they don’t tell you that they are an Orwellian way of dumbing down the population to a state where they are lethargically confined to their homes watching TV putting on weight and with hardly enough energy to open the front door. Thus they will cause no trouble and live to be a mindless cadaver in a chair getting a telegram from the Queen (or King) just thought I had better put that in.
I obediently went down the brain dead road and lost the will to live a normal life really. I got writers block because I could no longer retain the necessary facts with which to operate the tools of my trade, I have never had it before, it is horrible and makes you depressed because writing is a therapy for me an escape into a world of my choosing. For the first time in my life I could not be bothered to tidy my underwear drawer. The five flights of stairs were almost impossible and I crawled up them moaning which got the occupants of all the rooms poking their heads out, I can tell you. And to cap it all I developed digestive problems which made life very unpleasant. The worst part was that sleep was virtually impossible. Then I researched a bit, everything I had was a side effect. I stopped taking the bloody things and hey presto the mind cleared, blessed sleep came back like an angel of mercy, and the digestive problem disappeared, and I lost weight. So there they all are, all the people I mentioned earlier plus a neglected address book resurrected . The cupboards are tidy, I am leaping up and down the stairs like a gazelle and yes I would rather be dead that in the hinterland of statins. And what is more some cholesterol is good for you but they can’t be bothered to tell you that.