A very pompous man was delivering a really stupid response to an outraged group of people in our road recently, when he did a very long and globulous fart; he did his best to cover it up by shimmying about on the wet pavement and pretending it was his shoes, but he didn’t know he was dealing with the Queen of Farts, that’s me. Nobody gets away with them in my family, we take no prisoners with them here. My son is the worst, he is forensic in their detection , no matter what the occasion, he silences the room while he points out the culprit. Never one to miss an opportunity I was onto it , no holes barred !!!!! “You have just done a fart,” we announced to the man in the road. He squirmed , and denied it vehemently, but the damage was done. The other people sniggered, he accused us of being rude in a rather pathetic way, frankly he was done for. There you have it, it will be a case of “We have forgot the fart” if he is lucky, and you all know where that comes from, because you are all educated people .
The Mandela film was in my opinion outstanding, this is not a view shared by the critics who ever they are , but I don’t understand why. Two wonderful Guys are chipping away on the bricks that were once our beautiful garden wall blown down in the gale. They will only do this for three days and at the end of it they will have made a beautiful thing and will be rewarded as they should be; but Mandela did it for twenty years, for nothing except his survival. Sorry critics you are wrong… this is a story that should be told a thousand times, as it will be no doubt, but I was blown away by it like our wall. Did it occur to me on the subject of walls and bricks that young people are being deprived of the childhood bricks which are so essential for their development . Without them all these aged twelve going on forty children will have nothing to keep them up when the winds of life blow, that is what the “Three Little Pigs” was all about I suppose, a story absent from currant child rearing.
The Sainted One collected the three cloths from the laundry today, he told me they cost thirty five pounds in a very accusatory way. I replied that in view of their Ducal history they deserved nothing less. He made some comment about curtailing all this lavish entertaining. The last guests were his actually and the entire meal was spent discussing fascinating things such as the cultivation of horse radish and the rules of Croquet. I have little to say about either, so maybe he has a point .( I expect you all got the pun because you are all clever people).