Are All Politicians Mad? Cristian Faith, Use it Or Lose It!

I am just the ordinary confused voter, I don’t know what to believe and for some time I have thought Farage and his UKIP thing (although it chimes oddly with kippers which make me ill) you get it of course…. Well along with certain members of my household I have thought he was not mad, and if he was it struck me that mad people talk a lot of sense. So wonderful material for rows with the Sainted One, who thinks inside a strange blue padded Tory box. But then today I see that that peculiar Hamilton Couple are out of their own delusional box and are Mr and Mrs average UKippers indeed they appear to be important chieftains, in the weird selection of persona our Nigel had collected… bad decision NIge…. “ quos vult pedere prius dementat,” which in UKIP Language means .those who God wants to destroy he makes mad Thats no the correct translation by the way, it lacks the subtlety of our great educational system.  Also there is the thing about looking carefully at people’s friends and if you lie down with dogs you get up with fleas. And actually. The S O is a wise old bird who did not accept brown paper bags from anyone, in a house full of women he never looked in paper bags you see.

This brings me to the idiotic spat about us being a Christian country, of course we are but be afraid people Use it or Lose it, you don’t have to go to church to recognise what our Christian country has put in place for you, which incidentally gives you the privilege of believing what you like without a knock on the door in the middle of the night. But this freedom, which is a beautiful thing is under threat, David Cameron was right to declare himself why shouldn’t he? But then this is a subtle kind of erosion, even down to a pathetic TV series called “The Rev” gives us a complete prat as a vicar who cannot even do his flies up it seems. I know of no vicar who is as idiotic as that , no, they are always there when you want to be christened, married of buried with a jolly nice party afterwards… and more besides, like Christmas and Easter but watch out it’s being chipped away !!! And girls it may be the back of the class for you, no more brilliant women clergy. Remind you of anything?


Morphine, Walking Backwards, and Diverticulitis

There is no doubt that most medical diagnosis will be given with the familiar suggestion that you remove stress from your life as this is the primary reason for the particular ailment which is presenting. Well no doubt that is true, but there are so many areas in most lives which are stressful, for example of the ones publishable here in my own case, there is Jayne( spelt with a Y) my posh pigeon ( who is partly turtle dove) this of course makes her very intelligent. Mixing the genes is good thing as we all know. Stupid people cannot admit this, but let them get on with it I say we intelligent ones are on a different plane, I talk a lot with my Cherokee great Grandmother, which gives you all a clue about moi see what I mean? Well back to Jayne, I think she may be becoming a bit of a louche and still brings unsuitable birds to the table, Great Grandmama is thinking about this. Then of course in the stress department there is Beatrice my spaniel who has an eating disorder and a little pink tongue which is always sticking out of her mouth .. yep … this is worrying. Then of course there are the domestic incidents an example of one as follows. I Was in a being all women’s magazeeny with the Sainted One, lovely day, gentle gardening with carefully selected and purchased plants (bY Moi) so then a little iced white wine with touch of grenadine served with an especially delicious lunch ( prep time one hour) all in the Gazeebo earned from one of moi’s advances all great but the SO said HE was cold, so idiotic Moi up to the top of the house to fetch expensive cashmere sweater ( Christmas present from moi)….. but the phone kept ringing and had been doing so all morning ( people enquiring about my recent ill health) The SO took a sip of lovely drink, cosied down in the cashmere, like a pig in You Know What, and remarked that I was obviously very nice to all these people why wasn’t I as nice to him? Well talking of pigs in you know what .. just forget the pig bit!

Anyway there you have it, the horrible pain from the diverticulitis became galactic, my adorable doctor gave me a pill which had morphia in it, since then I have been walking backwards, the twelve adorable people who came here for lunch yesterday didn’t notice this, but I will tell you one thing, it certainly gets rid of stress I even found myself offering Jayne’s followers some digestive biscuits.

White Trash and Soiled Work Surfaces, Food Technology, and What Fifteen Year Old Boys Get.

Be aware, this strange reference to “white trash” is most ubiquitous in the non indigenous population. But I have begun to hear it used by normally tolerant Guardian Readers who have seen too much of how white welfare scroungers live very comfortable lives, in which there domestic habits render them deserving of the sobriquet. For instance I spent some time with two women today, one of whom is a teacher and the other who helps to run a social housing development. The first one teaches “Food Technology” to secondary pupils. This is elementary stuff, because some of them have never seen anyone cook, they reside in homes where the kitchens have to be replaced every eighteen months because they are so filthy, they become a health hazard despite the absence of culinary activity (they are used for other purposes). A lot of their parents do not vote because that can’t be bothered. In the academic periods there is a “no writing “policy and the pupils are given “tablets” otherwise known as laptops, the majority of which do not work “because they are broken!”. Some instruction is supposed to be given on a screen on a wall, but the blind which is supposed to darken the room to make this visible has been broken for two years. Never mind they do make cupcakes.

This vocational woman had occasion to run a discussion group where pupils were asked to share their career preferences when they finished, what is laughingly called education. Most had quite reasonable, but sadly unattainable plans (considering most of them can neither read or write with pen and paper). However one of them announced with great conviction that he wanted to be a suicide bomber, this wonderful woman replied quick as a flash “Why wait?”

I suggested to this clever woman that she acquired a copy of Philip Lymberry’s book Farmageddon and read it to the kids, she is up for that, and I await with interest the results of this experiment, after all what else can food technology possibly be about but the production of food before it gets to the table?

Our Local pub on the Isle of Wight serves delicious planet friendly produce from its own farm, where the farmer Adrain Lax rears his animals to the highest standards of animal welfare on Saturday this was served by a vision of wholesome beauty called Amie. This is all very well of course and we are lucky, but how does this translate to the kids described earlier? Having said which ….. I bet some of the “yummie mummies” who can afford and do buy organic produce do not know what their fifteen year old little darlings are getting up to at expensive recreational venues in the school holidays. Girls as young as fourteen are expected to do things which would be classified as serious sexual abuse were they to come to court . Suffice to say it is non penetrative sex, but it is still under age even if it is what these hapless little girls think is part of being cool and are rated on their expertise, the start of a lifetime cycle of female sexual and domestic abuse. Sorry folks there is a dichotomy here somewhere.

When You Get a Part In a Bad B Movie, Angels Are There and Family Constellations.

So you think the good guys win? Oh No they don’t, not in the way you expect anyway. The last few days have been rather horrible for lots of reasons, cast in a weird repetitive movie, in a role where the lines are made up as people go along so you don’t quite know who you are supposed to be. Sometimes it feels as if you are wearing a heavy necklace of large choking dark beads, but then you take it off and find it is studded with little diamonds. The trick is to take the darn thing apart, chuck out the horrible bits and rethread the diamonds. That is where the whole idea of Family Constellations comes in, All these voices from the family dynamic that think they can manipulate everyone else to play out their drama, don’t engage, walk away, easily said of course.

Two diamonds appeared today, one called Tom, who was so kind when I made a horrible bog up and even made me think it was a good thing because it enabled a whole lot of people to be really nice and get in touch with the metaphorical diamonds. And then there was Victor who delivered a parcel and we got to talking about why God did not have a proper name. It was a thoughtful dialogue and I felt very improved by it, because we both agreed that it is vital to keep the quality of loving kindness in one’s heart however difficult that may be.

So far I have not been seriously tested on this new theory yet, except when I saw the sanitary engineers had sorted through our waste in forensic detail and declined to take the recycle bags because there was half a banana skin in one them. Dark thoughts came into my mind,banana skins playing a significant role, because we all know how lethal they can be. I am working on them, rather like when one is informed that certain celebrities are “working on their marriages” , this is a concept utterly devoid of the spontaneous serendipity vital for success in this this sort of challenge. There is also something rather clinically creepy about it.