When You Get a Part In a Bad B Movie, Angels Are There and Family Constellations.

So you think the good guys win? Oh No they don’t, not in the way you expect anyway. The last few days have been rather horrible for lots of reasons, cast in a weird repetitive movie, in a role where the lines are made up as people go along so you don’t quite know who you are supposed to be. Sometimes it feels as if you are wearing a heavy necklace of large choking dark beads, but then you take it off and find it is studded with little diamonds. The trick is to take the darn thing apart, chuck out the horrible bits and rethread the diamonds. That is where the whole idea of Family Constellations comes in, All these voices from the family dynamic that think they can manipulate everyone else to play out their drama, don’t engage, walk away, easily said of course.

Two diamonds appeared today, one called Tom, who was so kind when I made a horrible bog up and even made me think it was a good thing because it enabled a whole lot of people to be really nice and get in touch with the metaphorical diamonds. And then there was Victor who delivered a parcel and we got to talking about why God did not have a proper name. It was a thoughtful dialogue and I felt very improved by it, because we both agreed that it is vital to keep the quality of loving kindness in one’s heart however difficult that may be.

So far I have not been seriously tested on this new theory yet, except when I saw the sanitary engineers had sorted through our waste in forensic detail and declined to take the recycle bags because there was half a banana skin in one them. Dark thoughts came into my mind,banana skins playing a significant role, because we all know how lethal they can be. I am working on them, rather like when one is informed that certain celebrities are “working on their marriages” , this is a concept utterly devoid of the spontaneous serendipity vital for success in this this sort of challenge. There is also something rather clinically creepy about it.

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