Morphine, Walking Backwards, and Diverticulitis

There is no doubt that most medical diagnosis will be given with the familiar suggestion that you remove stress from your life as this is the primary reason for the particular ailment which is presenting. Well no doubt that is true, but there are so many areas in most lives which are stressful, for example of the ones publishable here in my own case, there is Jayne( spelt with a Y) my posh pigeon ( who is partly turtle dove) this of course makes her very intelligent. Mixing the genes is good thing as we all know. Stupid people cannot admit this, but let them get on with it I say we intelligent ones are on a different plane, I talk a lot with my Cherokee great Grandmother, which gives you all a clue about moi see what I mean? Well back to Jayne, I think she may be becoming a bit of a louche and still brings unsuitable birds to the table, Great Grandmama is thinking about this. Then of course in the stress department there is Beatrice my spaniel who has an eating disorder and a little pink tongue which is always sticking out of her mouth .. yep … this is worrying. Then of course there are the domestic incidents an example of one as follows. I Was in a being all women’s magazeeny with the Sainted One, lovely day, gentle gardening with carefully selected and purchased plants (bY Moi) so then a little iced white wine with touch of grenadine served with an especially delicious lunch ( prep time one hour) all in the Gazeebo earned from one of moi’s advances all great but the SO said HE was cold, so idiotic Moi up to the top of the house to fetch expensive cashmere sweater ( Christmas present from moi)….. but the phone kept ringing and had been doing so all morning ( people enquiring about my recent ill health) The SO took a sip of lovely drink, cosied down in the cashmere, like a pig in You Know What, and remarked that I was obviously very nice to all these people why wasn’t I as nice to him? Well talking of pigs in you know what .. just forget the pig bit!

Anyway there you have it, the horrible pain from the diverticulitis became galactic, my adorable doctor gave me a pill which had morphia in it, since then I have been walking backwards, the twelve adorable people who came here for lunch yesterday didn’t notice this, but I will tell you one thing, it certainly gets rid of stress I even found myself offering Jayne’s followers some digestive biscuits.

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