The Blow Dry and The Water Canon.

My adorable hairdresser Harvey always tell me I should have my Hair Done more often, he is right of course , hair usually looks like a wasp nest, and as someone said to me recently “ you always wear clothes you can wash up in”. They were right of course, I once purchased on an impulse.. a pale blue silk trouser suit . The first time I wore it someone projectile vomited all over it, and I had to go home in a black bin liner which the Sainted One said looked better than the trouser suit (before the incident). Well yesterday I had my hair blow dried and for what better occasion than Holland Park opera with a very dear friend?

The opera was freezing with sub zero winds whipping through the open sides and the hair started to suffer, but then so did I frankly I lost the will to live quite soon as the idiotic plot unfolded. It had no interval and all the opera lovers began to want to visit the loo but they could not get out. I note the seats are plastic so they can be cleaned even if the rain, blowing in, does not get them. The tenor made it worse, he was small and had the awful tenor break in the voice, that comedians do when they want to “do one”. It made me want to pee all the more After nearly two hours they all died on stage … why did they take so long I asked myself? I just made it to my hostesses’ house before the evening imploded. But there was no relief, a new house all electronically controlled but no instructions ……… and then the tap in the kitchen came apart and water cascaded four foot into the air relentlessly …… the hair went under the sink but there was no stop cock , Polish builders do not hold with them. The water was very, very cold the clothes were soaking the hair was rats tails there was no heating but I found a hair drier on a wall and the clothes eventually dried off and hundreds of pounds later Pimlico plumbers resolved the problem. Today I have pneumonia. My friend has guts she really does.

Moral ???? You tell me I just don’t know.

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