What You Should Never Say.

A “friend “ of mine rang to thank me for something this week and proceeded to wax lyrical about the Sainted One’s appearance “So unbelievable “, she said in between gasps of admiration .” younger every time we see him it really is quite unbelievable… “ on and on it went. Believe me I came back with “the credit should be given to me for providing a life style fit for an eighteenth century gentleman.” Quick as a flash she came out with the following “ you on the other hand look really drawn and stressed you have aged so much, you must rest more you know , you are killing yourself; all your friends have noticed how terrible you look, I only tell you this because I love you .. we all do.”

Because I am not a real bitch , just an amateur sort of one , I did not tell her how red faced and piggy eyed she is , and how her teeth always have looked like Highgate cemetery. I thanked her for her concern, and whereas I felt great before I answered the phone I thought of many reasons why I was really not fit for purpose and that if I had suicidal tendencies this would be it. What a stupid cow , and how sexist those comments are, they would never be made to a man I can’t imagine it eg “You look really stressed , you have got fat with a beer belly and you have nostril hair and your teeth look as if they were painted with shoe polish, and is that a horticultural experiment busting out of your ears …….that applies to a lot of male persons of a certain age.. you see it is still a man’s world and a lot of women buy into it. Its jealousy of course because I do have great teeth thanks to my uncle Cyril the Jewish dentist. They always send for other partners to look at my teeth when I go to the dentist because they can’t believe how marvellous mine are!!!!!!! So the motto is keep smiling etc and you know the rest.

Seven Brides For seven Brothers T the Regents Park open Air Theatre will put a smile on your face will !

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