The Battle of Agincourt, the Pork Pie and sown up Pockets.

The Battle of Agincourt, the Pork Pie and sown up Pockets.

The Battle of Agincourt was celebrated in Westminster Abbey today. The resident Knight of the Realm otherwise known as the “Sainted One” attended this today a new suit had been secretly purchased so as not to set an example of lavish expenditure which might encourage moi to go over the top with a double pack of the M&S knickers I have been saving up for. Problem was the pockets were sown up and I was unable to unpick them quickly enough. So off the SO went . On the return he was intercepted in the hallway having been told to do something imaginative about lunch since the kitchen would be closed until tea time. There was a furtive return and something was bulging out of the pocket of the old suit. After a very brief reply to my enquiry during which a learned that Princess Pushy kept the whole of the abbey waiting as she was late. It was announced that the protrusion in the pocket was a pork pie which was to be consumed at once in the “mancave” whilst watching doctors. ( a fatuous medical soap where everyone has hysterectomy’s ) I mean how many wombs do these people actually have? A friend of mine warned me that they grow again. OMG just when I thought things were getting better round here. I think things are better though particularly some help with the out of control garden which is being tamed by a magician who also tames for a very posh person whom I cannot mention in case it looks like another attempt at delusory grandeur.

I am just reading up the second outbreak of scurvy on Anson’s epic voyage in 1742 for a moment, I thought it sounded a bit similar to my elbow scrotum at least the start of it, the accounts are horrific beyond the imagination. Anson’s discovery of the intake of vitamin C was one of the greatest proof of the best medical research being proved by statistics. The admiralty did not concede this for another forty years.

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The Battle of Agincourt, the Pork Pie and sown up Pockets.

The Battle of Agincourt was celebrated in Westminster Abbey today. The resident Knight of the Realm otherwise known as the “Sainted One” attended this today a new suit had been secretly purchased so as not to set an example of lavish expenditure which might encourage moi to go over the top with a double pack of the M&S knickers I have been saving up for. Problem was the pockets were sown up and I was unable to unpick them quickly enough. So off the SO went . On the return he was intercepted in the hallway having been told to do something imaginative about lunch since the kitchen would be closed until tea time. There was a furtive return and something was bulging out of the pocket of the old suit. After a very brief reply to my enquiry during which a learned that Princess Pushy kept the whole of the abbey waiting as she was late. It was announced that the protrusion in the pocket was a pork pie which was to be consumed at once in the “mancave” whilst watching doctors. ( a fatuous medical soap where everyone has hysterectomy’s ) I mean how many wombs do these people actually have? A friend of mine warned me that they grow again. OMG just when I thought things were getting better round here. I think things are better though particularly some help with the out of control garden which is being tamed by a magician who also tames for a very posh person whom I cannot mention in case it looks like another attempt at delusory grandeur.

I am just reading up the second outbreak of scurvy on Anson’s epic voyage in 1742 for a moment, I thought it sounded a bit similar to my elbow scrotum at least the start of it, the accounts are horrific beyond the imagination. Anson’s discovery of the intake of vitamin C was one of the greatest proof of the best medical research being proved by statistics. The admiralty did not concede this for another forty years.

Angels, the Lavatory Seat Diaries and a Scrotom on The Elbow.

Yes there are angels and we heard one at St Johns Smith Square singing Poulenc’s Gloria. Rowan Fenner is the one she does sing like an angel, and she is dark haired which makes a change. Quite exquisite, and the distant tessitura was such as I have never quite heard before. Then there are all the beauties who help to run Compassion In World Farming. There was a select gathering last night where the great warrior Philip Lymbery gave us a taste of his next book which gives an account of the Palmolive horror spelling the extinction of the Sumatran Elephant. It all boils down to stomachs!

These events were very welcome after the continuing saga of the lavatory seat, a bill for “inspecting and flushing toilet,” drove me round the bend, left me very pissed off and so on…… because as I pointed out it was not a very “big job” also the concept of summoning a technician each time the “toilet” did not quite empty established a dangerous precedent of flatulent idleness… double flushing is the answer. I never actually saw the damn thing but of course it turned out to be “the ball cock” didn’t it? “Bullshit” the Sainted One announced.. There were a lot of tenants in our house on the Isle of Wight this summer I cannot establish the culprit and the thing is not over, but we have paid the bill of course, we just want closure.

Then there was my elbow which swelled up and then burst nobody here could look at they said it made them feel sick, so it was taken to Accident and Emergency. It was writers elbow and had gone septic potentially life threatening actually, it has calmed down after antibiotics but I am left with an empty gourd which someone remarked looked like a scrotal sack, of course I have never seen one of those so I wouldn’t know…… this is the price you pay for genius, ten thousand words to go scrotum or no scrotum.

Princess Ghida Talal of Jordan, Taboo about Cancer and Royal support in Jordan,

My daughter Lucy O’Donnell is in Jordan launching her book about her fight against breast cancer with the support of HRH Princess Ghida Talal of Jordan. This must be an inspirational breakthrough in a country where women by and large keep things under wraps. Two beautiful women supporting a frank approach to this awful disease will give hope to thousands of women and send all the proceeds of this event to the King Hussein Cancer Foundation centre.

The world is full of wonder women some of whom are my granddaughters designer gifts from heaven, one of whom “Gussie” is in the two recent pictures on my blog. In one of them is Moi trying to hide flanked by two beauties and the other OMG this is “THE FRANCESCA” usually called Fran. She is the owner of Metro a fabulous restaurant in Clapham ,Gussie works for her when she is not swanning to exotic water holes the other side of the planet so also does one of my grandsons. We are now what I can only call family and moi is commonly referred to as Gaga (which is fairly accurate actually). Fran is not only beautiful but fiercely bright and creative which all reflects in the delicious and tight ship which is her halcyon corner of Clapham where she is Queen supreme. Garden eating in the summer and log fires in the winter. And entertainment as well, clever musicians whom she has discovered and sent on to great things. I had a surprise trip with Fran and Gussie yesterday, it doesn’t often happen because I grub about a lot, and if you live with someone who is obsessed with DIY you have to be determined to remember that it is not the grouting in the paving which will be remembered, it is a magical autumn day spent with two brilliant clever people, a gourmet lunch and the deer sleeping silkily in the shade of an oak tree on Richmond Common.