Waxing, Fish Forks, and Drowning.

So we have been speaking to people about house clearance at our holiday home, so this weekend was frankly the most stressful I have ever had there. We had guests and were also clearing up after tenants and for various reasons Moi was the only driver . The Tesco shop was not quite thorough enough, so the bar orders could not be accommodated. The Sainted one made over confident enquires in a debonair kind of way, eg where do you keep the tomato juice and the vodka? Came there answer none. All right off to the village store two miles away , it had mysteriously gone and been replaced by a waxing clinic. This set me thinking about the exciting life all the pensioners must be having they are the majority on the inhabitants. So there they are folks all the eighty year old ladies on their walking frames fixing themselves a “Brazillian” or a “Hollywood Strip” perhaps. The house clearance expert was waiting when I got back later after a round trip to get the bar orders. Nobody noticed, the SO asked me in shocked tones why some of the fish forks were odd. One of the guests offered to lay the table for dinner and mentioned the nonmatching china and a preference for , starched napery, the cutlery drawer got tidied and then it became clear that the dishwasher was blocked. One of the tenants had put something unspeakable in it???? This was a new low. After they had all gone I started the washing, sheets towels under things, later I managed to stagger to the beach with my dogs and collapsed at the water’s edge from exhaustion,I toppled over like a roman column, the Tide was roaring in and not a soul in sight is was rather peaceful. The spaniels told me not to die so I didn’t .Its all restored now for the next batch of holiday makers. Eighteen bags of rubbish got taken away left in weird corners, tenant seem to spend their days going to M&S buying size eighteens. The old items are left for me I suppose but listen up I am now a size twelve because I have a serpent in my insides. The SO rang from London to ask if I was having a nice rest? He had tidied the cutlery drawer upon his arrival.

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