Croquet Mallet drives Car! The Light Bulb and the Chelsea Physic Garden.

The Sainted One has lost mobility in the neck, thus when he drives a car, it looks as if is being driven by a croquet mallet. We are to be reassured by the fact that “ the expert use of mirrors” is a safe and reliable substitute for head turning or panoramic visual and cerebral responses. I think this reminds me of Alice in Wonderland where Croquet is played with mallets replaced by pink flamingos. Hey Hoe most of my life is “Alice” at the moment. I called out from the darkened basement yesterday, for someone, anyone…. to change the light bulb…… answer came there none, just the low consistent murmur of the various TV sets. “One” of them “ the people I mean” had a brain scan the other day, I suspect the radiologists found a TV in the head. The thing is that televisions are great for “argufying” they don’t answer back so it’s a winner. I am allergic to arguments since the protagonists are convinced of their rectitude and no amount of verbal semantics will alter that. Me … I would rather gossip on the phone, people don’t make calls to argue on the whole ,except the BT call centre persons in India who must all be lobotomized.

“ Hitler” seems to be all the rage at the moment in our household the name is Verboten, it is the worst most obscene sounding abomination, the labour party is in up to its neck, enter pink flamingos, I do not personally know anyone who is anti-Semitic, it is common knowledge amongst us that my grandparents were married by a Rabi in West Texas. I have twice in my life refused to remain at dinner with people who denied the existence of the Holocaust. The events disturbed me profoundly.

Anyone who is looking for soothing and reassuring therapy should check into the, Chelsea Physic Garden, the nicest moments I know are spent with a dear and acerbic wise friend, regularly watching the plants ( a prize to anyone who actually sees one of the obviously expert gardeners.) And yes I often go on a weekday. Become a member, it is the best value in the London, a hidden oasis of beauty. There are many angels in the world, don’t look for them just be certain they are there and nowhere more prolific than there.