Women in “The Well Done Darling Syndrome” The Returning” and Michelle to rule the World,

I have never thought about the “well done darling thing” until a very talented woman I know explained why she had not quite achieved her potential. It was ,she explained being with blokes who were star performers, with her as the coat carrier, and always the well done thing. That is what it is like being married to someone famous always in the background. I have urged this woman to emerge from the shadowy role and sock it to the world ……. She will . I knew a lot of politicians wives who were like that and watched them over the years it was a thankless way of life, the men were all tossers in the end. Thankfully I never subscribed to this.

The Sainted One has returned, there was a gift left on the kitchen table awaiting my resumption of kitchen duties. Olive oil and biscuits. For some reason this did not do it for me both products readily available in Sainsbury’s. Basically one must manage everything even the guilt offering ……. Oh well thankfully there is a rather broad canvass here so we will not let it interrupt the cerebral calm necessary for the and final bit of edit on “Summer’s Grace”.

I am sure I was not the only person who felt a thrill at Michelle Obama’s speech yesterday ….. first black woman president of the most powerful country in the world ???????

Glorious Bodies, In It For The Long Haul and where Have All the Clothes Gone?

The Sainted One is in the next Stage of His social Season, having attended the major sporting events and Opera festivals sans moi, he is now by a Tuscan pool recumbent on a lounger and showing off his glorious toned body, getting it to this fabulous condition is a full time job, furtive tanning etc , it is necessary to have a lot of idiotic slaves around you … so nothing new there then. However I did tentatively enquire before the hasty departure if there might be any wishes or instructions in the event of an unforeseen accident ( the world is a dangerous place and the last escapade ended up in an unfortunate incident on a French motorway followed by a disappearance…) the French are not very nice about things like that as well they might not be. The reply was that he was in for the long haul and was a survivor etc….. I considered this rather gloomily concluding that joint expeditions were not a good plan, despite the huge difference in our ages…… I decided this some time ago actually.

Well, there is a lot a person can do when they can do what they frigging well like, another of the residents has gone for a while and the remainder are very self sufficient, so some gentle shopping etc and jolly lunches …… reading a friends short stories which must be published . I went to the sales and realized yet again that really well dressed women of a certain age do not wear patterns or white blobby tops, those changing room mirrors must be wrong who is this over stuffed sofa ? Just look at the returns counter at Zara ….. they wear them you know and then return them . …… but do people need so many clothes? Yes they do for their face book pages hence the returns.

As in everything else, Mrs May gets it right what a woman even getting a smile out of Mrs Merkin.

Shock Horror Prime Minister Hopeful Was not a toilet Attendent at the House of Commons.

Nobody can get her name right but it’s something like Andrea Loathsome, anyway breaking news is that she was not the Loo lady at that malodourous cauldron of Hot Air the Houses of Parliament ,and did not carry spare loo rolls in her monogramed dark green nylon pinafore; any rumours to that effect are being hotly denied by her team. What is not in dispute is that this lady has been present in the said venue for at least four years. She has Massive history in other areas, also hotly disputed by other persons who have no recollection of her. She is sticking to her story that she once worked in Sainsbury’s. Well that’s ok then she is admirably suited to be the next Prime Minister. Well done 1922 Committee of Conservative back benchers who came up with her. Oh and by the way she is also better than the vastly experienced Mrs May because she has proved (a long time ago) that her reproductive organs once functioned. This also works in her favour we are told movingly by her campaign team ( some of who also have these kinds of organs)…. hold on here, half the population does not have a functional womb and never will have despite advances in transgender surgery. So basically she is unique in that she is a MOTHER . She should see to her eye make up really she gives mothers a bad name.

I am very maternal at the moment because my spaniel is nesting and huge and I feed her constantly, people are so adorable as long as you are selective, everyone is helpful and smiley, they were not like that when the SO was in politics which was also a long time ago ( a fact of which I am constantly reminded) being a Tory wife was not all it’s cracked up to be. Being a writer is wonderful , I do all my own stuff you know , the residents here overlook this …. I know I am too old but the fact is I would make an excellent PM there is very little I have not done. Respect!

Revenge of the Fart Cushion, Who is Angela Leason?????? and Beatrice is having Five Babies.

The Sainted One is trying to murder me again, the garden set on which I sit was carefully held together with, “one small thin screw,” no pun intended. So there we are, moi legs in the air and a bruised derriere tastefully clad in one of the M& S three for one Pants. Very funny I don’t think. Several other weird booby traps have come to my attention. So I went to Peter Jones and acquired six new fart cushions, lots of sniggering from the helpful assistants. As to Angela Leason she needs to sort her eye makeup I am told she could be the next PM that is of course very clever of the committee of grey men who voted for this. So Teresa May inherits a Britain hanging it’s head is shame over Barmy Blairs delusional power trip. But hold on what were all our democratically elected Member s of Parliament doing while this was going on ? I ask this inanely in our quiet homestead for obvious reasons but answer comes there none.

A posh woman I know asked me if my Out Vote was because of all those silly animals she likes to eat never caring about how they came to her idiotic table none of whom has ever spoken to a “common” person. Come to think of it ????? Animals are nicer than humans especially my spaniels, one of “whom” is producing at least three puppies and probably more the vet couldn’t quite see.

A Hole in The Fart Cushion! Remainers, and Power To The Kitten Heel

Emily Hill , writes bravely in the Wondrous Spectator that she is cowardly about owning up to her Brexit Vote, she should not be, mark my words, politicians are usually wrong and their speciality is rewriting history , the domestic and social strife unfolding is bewildering and it is about bad losers. I was at a fabulous party the other night, a perfect example of a harmonious extended family but it ended with a punch up in the street. The aggressor was of course one of the Remain moaners.

We avoided this in our house because the “fart cushion” , a continuous source of amusement here for all family occasions, developed a puncture and the Sainted One did not fulfil his normal role as chief fart, actually there has been enough up the bottom air expended here. It was a metaphor for the so called “peasants revolt “ of which I am a proud representative. No more hot air then just the blame game and Daves off to Ibiza soon. Teresa May is a real Stateswoman, you see we peasants get there in the end. I have heard on the grape vine that some bad losers who placed bets on the Remain being a push over are not paying up because they say it’s not over yet and there must be another vote, oh yes and what about democracy then? Why are they all being such Jeremy Hunts? Matron May will shut them up you will and see the power of the kitten heal is mightier than the sword.