Middle Class Knife Training for Toddlers, The Curse of the Crackly Snack Packet and The return of the “Upseat”.

..Sitting in the park this week an enchanting little boy called Jasper engaged me in conversation, he then pulled a knife on me , it was of course plastic a kind of flick knife of which he was very proud. He was four he told me, and his daddy had bought it for him that morning. The Mother looked mildly embarrassed and invited me to explain to Jasper… that knives were not a good thing, I ventured that he looked so grown up  thought he was six and when he did become six it was not cool to wield a  knife,. The father was lurking around resentfully , I asked the mum why on earth he would have given a child such a toy, “In desperation ” she said. They ambled off Jasper thrusting the knife purposefully at the odd duck . OMG . The so called middle classes should know better.

We went to see The Lion King , a beautiful film in which are many metaphors for life most of which were lost on the audience who stuffed their faces throughout with the contents a loudly crackling bags their open mouths working like cement mixers chewing loudly with what was left of their rotting teeth. The so called parents engaged with their phones secreted between their knees with a queer sort of light.   Really what on earth is going on?

“Manspread” has become a feature now they all do it, that and leaving the lavatory seat up. Why is this ?Even very old men do it i,t some sort of statement , Bollocks perhaps?

 

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