Knicker Gusset Masks ,Nation of Snitchers, and We should Clap the Vets.

Some folk have become obsessed with self isolation, and activities which make them “terribly busy” the latest is making masks out of knicker gussets. The rank materials must be washed first….. these may have been continuously worn for many weeks . This may ad to the value if to be sold to a niche market. Personally they would not attract me but maybe the weird people who have become curtain twitchers. Apparently we have become a nation of snitchers. The sooner we get back to normal the better .

Now to the positive our puppy Alice injures her eye on a rose thorn , she would have lost it had it not been for the prompt action of the local vet and a long trip to a pet hospital in Surrey > The morning the fabulous news they had saved it and she will be in hospital for a week. Dogs are the most precious of all friends and the love we have for her is beyond words . She is very popular in the hospital and being hand fed chicken…. my titanium knee stood up well to the kneeling supplications God is kind sometimes …. I have temporarily suspended my row with him.

The Curse of Zoom,Pet Parlour Bath and Flap Jacks, the Harbingers of Death

Oh please no more Zoom , nostril hair , skanky track suit bottoms and dry shampoo hair. Just the voice will do then we can imagine the rest eg the lines of books acquired by yard in the background  . Give us a break we know you haven’t read any of them. What might be interesting would be a shot of your pet parlour bath which I bet you don’t clean and as for the skirting boards they would have a story ! That is why ladies have hairy legs at the moment shaving them in the bath is a disaster .

Now about the flapjacks there is a craze for making them and taking them to care homes  the next day more wretched people will have died praps even a dozen …. is there something going on here ? Personally I wouldn’t eat one now … seriously the carers in these homes are saints vocational and courageous….

So no locking up the over seventies now I hear we are a rebellious lot and not one of us I know would go for the misery of being deprived of all the joys life can give for our declining years and would rather take our chance.  and never have time for  flap jack let alone a cup of tea a stiff whiskey would I suspect tick the box and alcohol is the enemy of the plague.

I wish people would stop going on about housework … it does not improve the brain reading is the thing I am reading a diary written by Lady Emily Lutyens in 1953  very much an emphasis on conversation skills in the great embassies she grew up in ,I am practising on my self really I have to wrack my brains for something really interesting to say which is the primary reason i do not like my onw company ….

Virtue? Sloth, F.A and K.B.O

I keep being told about all the virtuous activities people (even of my vast age) are doing , they are busy night and day chopping wood hoovering the skirting boards taking up crochet making egg cosies, sowing for victory wearing hoods and gathering kindling wood. Even Goddammit writing books . Now steady on thats what I can do , but not just now because I am a sloth drowning in lethargy.  I have put my book about colonial slavery aside and should write about these heroines …… but hold on I have decided to turn over a new leaf, I will collect the mountains of dog shit which has started to accumulate on the pavement mix it with compost and bag it up to sell on t street at five pounds a go beautifully packaged as fertiliser , I will give the profit to a worthy cause and meanwhile I have found some very old sanitary napkins which have been surplus to requirements for many years, and make them into masks that I will post to my virtuous acquaintances not the men though they could get the wrong end of the stick when their virtuous spouses return from foraging,. Actually I don’t really get it, the thing is that virtue does not require witnesses does it , so I am coming up for another sofa slurp with the divine Alice pictured below, she snores away while I watch the birds taking their evening bath and think a cocktail.

Oh by the way the asteroid is coming next week,   So KBO ( keep buggering on) yep the great British public are brave indeed and I think of the wretched women and children being murdered by their partners at the moment , I ask you how can these tragic women get to a phone and go to an app, they can’t they die ? Yes they do and so do their kids . the only thing is to remove the abuser and lock him up … ever thought of that ? Abusers are cunning, it is a terror for these families and this has been condoned in a male world for too long decent men do not slap women about in secret it is learned behaviour and we have another generation being carefully schooled God Help Us .

Time for Contemplation Sublime Happiness andThe Grass isGreener.

There is a time for remembering moment of sublime happiness, and indeed people are dreaming wonderful things at the moment. Gone are the hours of anxiety about the broken tumble drier of the bad hair date . There is pleasure in a gift on the doorstep in the food trading emerging in our street or a conversation over the garden fence. And the dreams are astonishing I dream of my late teens spent living with Paul and Jessie Maze in the Sussex downs where I got a taste of what real life could be   the smell of oil paint reverence to an elderly man and his wife who fulfilled the promise of parents I had never had , the silky mound of spaniels on the sofa we still use today calm order of a well ordered house French country food ,learning the skills of housekeeping laughter around the table we still use. And above all the wisdom of an elderly man ….. and his adoring muse . Wonderful times . A friend said to me yesterday that looking back on her life she could not remember ever experiencing sublime happiness  now that would be truly awful.

Of course nothing beets the birth of a child and  the the first Christmas with your own home made family ….. the first outing with the new born,. there are good times to come believe me .

Not the Black Death, A Contemporary Pestilence Must read “A Rose In Winter”Published by Quartet and no Place fr Party Politics.

There is a horrible feeling of eugenics going on, a sinister, subliminal voice, which speaks Senocide; ie, locking all the wise/older folk, who are, roughly, give or take, 70 years young, in their houses, like forgotten lepers. We have our uses. Actually as one of the latter, people planners, should know, this is contrary to all that is natural, and good in human nature, as I, have experienced. The spirit of community  here ,where we live, is amazing. Gifts  of shopping, are left on the doorstep. The Times buggered up my eyes today; there was too much negative info in it, not enough wisdom, from the wigwam. A good friend here is reading my book Summers Grace, a novel set in the time of the Plague 1646, when half of Europe died; we must count our blessings. Have a lovely day. you are all amazing and wonderful.

Return of The House Sparrow, Good “Times”and KBO.

The Times newspaper has decided to print good news as well as Covid horror. Eg the return return of the house sparrow, the recovery of wales I mean the marine kind… there is also better news on the environment plus the gardens are  poignantly.  beautiful shame  on all the people who have made a fortune on the sales of hand sanitiser  …. the big C is a man made virus and  but  no bacterial stuff will kill it , just a good lather with soap and water which breaks down its nasty little layer of fat without which it cannot sustain itself . This I learned from the John Hopkin institute along with thousands of others, it was by far the best explanation of the evil monster I have seen. Of course the mantra is “”Bleach for Britain Iists the only thing for everything  but invest in rubber gloves , cracked skin is a potential killer.

Now on the positive, Moi has been catatonic-ally silent for five months, whilst processing unthinkable domestic circumstances but a calm happy house  plus a four legged charmer enjoys the sparrows the blossom and the fabulous pride this country can build a four thousand bed hospital in two weeks  listen up China, whilst your live markets still flourish nature is watching .Keep Buggering on brilliant Btitain

David Cameron the Greedy Narcisist took a “punt” on democracy and Like a fox returns to rake over the”remains”.

Is David  Cameron the most deluded person in the world? He wants it all . wealthy, spoiled fat cat  its all there, and having effed up the whole wonderful country we have the good fortune to live in , he cant  just shut up and count his blessings . No here he is back in the limelight stealing the plot and asking for sympathy. Yes he lost a child so have many other people actually that is not an excuse for calling a disgraceful referendum. Surely this is as bad as invading Iraq . Blair is the same and now we have Major joining the bandwagon…. no these men have had their time and they need to get off the stage and let another lot “Eff” it up OK Dave has been depressed so write a decent book you  egregious self serving has been I am never going to forgive you and millions of decent people feel the same. Do what Winston Churchill did build a wall and “never complain never explain” and get your toenails painted again….

Madame Macron’s Head is Missing Dressed to Kill and the Back View.

It is not surprising that President Macron is touchy about his wife’s face, is the image we see in photos really her? it never quite fits the body it’s much to big and surely there  must be a side view . It looks like something very fishy to me. .

Speaking of which the cradle snatching ninety year old might also not really be an actual person, there are different uniforms each day , Al Capone stuff for sports white shoes and zip suits  and a very alarming Cliff Richard Jacket for one of the Killer sporting fixtures, white is quite creepy when there is only a back view. we flounce out of rooms even if they are silent and  empty (flouncing out on oneself must be very traumatic) “self flouncing?) oh and  sometimes with a tray  on which the meal will be  furiously removed from the table ? its called ” the revolving door syndrome” a metaphor which seems entirely appropriate. Oh but then there is the blue denim look for bin days which are Sundays and most of Saturday sorting …. never look in  used brown paper bags but these are specially beloved.  Other residents here have taken to preempting this objecting to the intimate search of their domestic an personnel lives  but that dos not work as the bin position and contents are still an object of scrutiny even in full view of the neighbours . One of the neighbours bins has gone missing so they are sharing ours  so tomorrow should be interesting.

Today moi clocked thirty seven thousand words into the new book despite the fact that we were all kept awake most of the night by events in the road. The bins were not out thank God.