OMG anyone who tells you that a second home run as a business for holiday lest between which you slot for your own delectations they can “ bog off” all you are is in this case of course “Titled Help” which in effect means moi clearing up all the tenants most basic functions. This time it has been lavatory’s known in the trade as “toilets” or now days the well known gentility of the “Loo” in common usage after an incident with my father’s great aunt Lady Louisa Beresford Known as LOO. This unfortunate woman had a horrible joke played upon her when her bedroom was labelled the WC in a house party comprising a lot of randy old men. The consequences were so horrible that in the interests of delicacy I cannot mention them here. I am a very genteel sort of person, a quality for which I am greatly revered.
Well back to the lavatory’s as they say, there are five of them here and all of them have a problem. I do not know what dark secrets the occupants of this pristine house have deep in their private ablutions But I ask you how is this possible, broken seats leaking ball cocks the lot. Well of course this has been wonderfully exciting for the Sainted One . The awful dialogues about these things have “driven me round the bend” actually. I bemoaned this at an elegant and funny lunch yesterday , you see cleaning and servicing “Toilets “ seems to be my karma. So Lady Harpic or Muck they shrieked, they suggested that we should put in our letting details “ Titled Help” . The S.O agreed after close inspection to drive into Ryde and acquire two knew seats the “Ad Hock” remedy of super Glue or cello tape were (even in the interests of economy which prevail in these straightened times ) not possible. But far is fair the S. O. has just swilled out the bins and the lobster shells have been disturbed and there is a pungent stench wafting through the windows . It has put me off my lunch , I could not at first recall exactly what it reminded of and then I remembered assembly’s at my third rate boarding school ( fees [paid by the RAF Benevolent Fund) a hot summer day and a hundred and fifty unwashed girls , we were allowed supervised baths once a week. Its, been a hard life but very amusing !
Vanessa Hannam 