Return To The Big Smoke, Banned from the Local Hotel and Something Fishy.

The Isle of Wight is wonderful, everyone there is kind and smiley and outraged by the idea that all the residents are inbred retards , if that is what they are I want to be one, but hang on I probably am, now there is a thought! There were several events which marked our stay, the first was being banned from the local hotel because we complained about the food, forty minutes and burned chips soaking in the blood of a raw piece of pork. Apparently they ban everyone who complains, consequently our fellow diners were a pair of moustached old ladies who agreed in loud voices that “David” whoever he maybe was history and can no longer demand his marital rites. They drank a lot and consumed burnt chips and “battered cod “ which looked beyond its sell by date. The manager was not from those parts , neither were the other diners . We went elsewhere frequented by the locals, it was perfect.

I enquired at the local chemist about a room spray because the Sainted One had spread fish manure all over the lawn and the smell of dirty knickers pervaded the house. The girl called to the manager if they stocked such a thing as a “Womb spray” I sniffed nervously, this was not one of my finest moments. But humour prevailed, and there is nothing like a good laugh. I can only imagine what my sobriquet is .

Our return to London was challenging Five puppies in the car and a five hour journey. As usual our perfect neighbour was there to help… chicken in the oven potatoes on the top and the puppy pen erected. Then the arrival of one of the Texan Belles another cousin of course, the most delightful clever girl who has a scholarship at Kings, she adores dogs ! Cavaliers are rare in Texas and he family has one so the stars are good.

Brave daughters, emergency hospital admissions for a grandchild and cancer scans for another daughter !!!!Life is not for sissy’s.

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